October 13, 2011

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“Who Would Win?” with Kevin Youkilis of the Boston Red Sox

By: Lionel

The Boston Red Sox have taken a beating from the media over the last few weeks, with the team melting down in the last month of the regular season, the departure of Terry Francona and Theo Epstein, and the recent accusations of players partying in the clubhouse during games.  We could get caught up in the drama, but we prefer to talk about happy things.  Besides that, we have a fun interview with Kevin Youkilis that we’re excited to publish while people are still talking about the Boston Red Sox.

We asked Kevin Youkilis to play “Who Would Win?” with us.  The premise is simple.  We just asked Kevin to tell us which of his Boston Red Sox teammates would win various hypothetical events.  His answers are below in bold:

“Kevin Youkilis, of your Boston Red Sox teammates, who would win…

1. …a game of Trivial Pursuit?”  Ryan Lavarnway, only because he went to Yale.

2. …a car race?”  Marco Scutaro loves fast cars.

3. …a political election?”  Jed Lowrie, because he went to Stanford and wears 3-piece suits.

4. …a singing contest?”  Daisuke has a good voice.

5. …a dance-off?”  No idea.  Luckily never seen some guys dance.

6. …a humanitarian award?”  Too hard to answer because we have a lot of guys that do a lot of charity work.

7. …a trash-talking contest?”  Pedroia for sure.  A daily routine for him [is] to talk trash, but it’s all joking around and never too serious.

8. …an arm-wrestling tournament?”  Varitek.  He is one strong dude.

9. …a stand-up comedy contest?”  Marco Scutaro for sure.  He is always making guys laugh and keeping the locker room loose and fun.

10. …a hot dog eating contest?”  Jacoby Ellsbury and Jonathan Papelbon.  They can eat a lot.

September 3, 2008

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Queue The Big Hairy Colorado Beast

By: realbigfathead

By John Fontana

Queue the marching band. Queue the cheerleaders. Queue the coaches, the team and the trainer. And for the sake of college football and all its excitement, queue the University of Colorado’s Ralphie, http://www.autumnspectacle.com/Pageantry/Ralphie-runout.jpg the greatest live mascot http://www.fathead.com/college/colorado-buffaloes/colorado-buffaloes-logo/ in college sports – hands down. Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of young men like the sight of a 1,300-pound hulk of hairy buffalo (actually an American Bison) bearing down on them when Ralphie makes her (yes, her) pregame run right into the teeth of the opponent’s warm-ups. There have been more than a few players who have had to change their pants even before the game started.

A tradition since 1967, Ralphie V made her debut Sunday at Invesco Field at Mile High in Denver (three days after Barack Obama accepted the Democratic presidential nomination at the same venue), leading the Colorado Buffaloes into their annual in-state rivalry against Colorado State (represented by a docile old Ram that wets itself at the site of the great buffalo). Talkn’ smack? You bet. My wife went to CSU. I went to CU.   Colorado won the game, 38-17.

There is nothing like college rivalry to light the flame in a college football fan’s heart. It’s the game that puts a glint in a fan’s eye as sharp as Ralphie’s horns.  Michigan-Ohio State. Miami-Florida State. Oklahoma-Texas. Alabama-Auburn. USC-Notre Dame. Army-Navy. Florida-Georgia. Harvard-Yale. Cal-Stanford. Minnesota-Wisconsin. Alabama-Tennessee. Washington-Washington State. Clemson-South Carolina.

Colorado Buffalos Logo by Fathead

Colorado Buffalos Logo by Fathead

Every fan wants to see their college team win on Saturday, but with a rivalry game it’s about pain, suffering, and a guaranteed 365 days of bragging rights until next year.  Rivalry is about opening the portal to that dark spot on your heart; about that shooting pain of contempt, about the one win that rescues even a season of crushing defeats. It’s everything that makes college football the best way to spend a fall afternoon.
The smell of tailgate barbeques, the sound of college fight songs, and the sight of Ralphie bearing down on those silly enough to stand in her way.