September 2, 2008

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Michael Phelps Deserves a Fathead

realbigfathead

By Apryl DeLancey

Did you watch the 2008 Olympic Games?  Did you see any of the swimming contests?  It has been difficult to escape the news of the remarkable Michael Phelps of the USA Swimming Team.  If you haven’t heard about him and his amazing swimming then you have probably been on vacation somewhere in the middle of nowhere.  Not since Mark Spitz back in 1972 has anyone dominated the sport of swimming the way Phelps has.  Spitz won seven gold medals back then in just one installment of Olympic Games.  Phelps has now won eight in Beijing.  Talk of his dominance and if he is the best Olympian ever are now everywhere.  Is he the most dominant Olympian? The most dominant athlete ever?

Over the span of the Games, we’ve learned much about this 23-year-old super human.  We know that he eats a lot of food.  In fact, we know he pretty much eats as many carbohydrates and sugar as he can possibly shovel in throughout a day.  Regardless of how much he eats, we can see just about every muscle in his body.  In fact, we can see muscles that I bet not everyone even knew existed!  In addition, we have found out that he listens to hip hop and rap in his music player.  We know that he’s really good at the butterfly stroke.  News outlets are giving us every detail of this young man’s existence.

So I hereby ask – why doesn’t he get a Fathead?  I think it’s time.  There could be one of him in the water from the side.  This could be done with or without water.  Without would be fun since then it would look like he’s swimming in your wall.  Sort of.  Better yet, how about with that celebratory look on his face that makes him look like a monster?  Nothing says you’re a champ like having your emotional moment captured and duplicated all over the place.  I’m sure he doesn’t mind!  I know I wouldn’t…

Bring on the Phelps Fathead!



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