Fathead Blog

Breaking News: The Cast of the Jersey Shore is Going on Strike. (I hope you were sitting down for that)

I know people, it’s hard to comprehend. What will we do without the moral compass and intellectual guidance of  Snickers and J-Woww (sp?)? Where will we go for awkwardly forward (and ultimately doomed) advances from the Situation? WHAT WILL WE DO IF WE CAN’T WATCH RONNIE DEAL WITH HIS EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS??

Apparently America’s collective plans for the fall have been dashed, because the Shore is on Strike.

I think my boss’ comments about summed up “The Situation on the Shore”:

“They’re on strike? From what? Their job is to live their lives…. so what are they not doing when on strike?”

And now, in honor of the strike, I have the pleasure of introducing the new Jersey Shore Fatheads!

You didn’t really click that link did you?

We are still waiting on comment from the ACLU and the UAW to see if they will take up the standard to defend their fellow oppressed workers.

And most importantly, what is supposed to bring us joy if we can’t see Snook getting rocked in the face with a right hook that Manny Pacquiao would be proud of??

Questions, Comments, Concerns, and Clown Jokes:

In an extremely shortsighted move, a Spanish aquarium is prepared to offer Paul the Octopus’ owners “whatever they demand” to move him to Madrid. I love soccer too, and I’m sure everyone will be partying up and down La Rambla (bonus Culture Lesson of the Day!) until Rio 2014 starts, I’m just not entirely sold that they will be paying to see Paul that long. And yes, if you are wondering, if you type in “Paul the” on google, “Paul the Octupus” shows up before “Paul the Apostle”, go ahead and try.

College football news: the college football world is corrupt. Who knew?

Jason Kidd might be officially making the jump from player to coach this week at the Team USA training camp this week in Las Vegas. Since the guy has never lost in a USA jersey, I’d say its a good call.

The always classy and rarely egotistical Jordan commented on the LeBronstallation of stars (OK, that was a stretch) in Miami, saying he never would have made the same move. That’s because Jordan, (Listen up LeBron)  for all his faults, was a winner. The man would’ve sold his soul and stabbed his teammates for a championship that he won his way, he’d never team up with an arguably better teammate, just to avoid the possibility of a coattails discussion.

That’s about all I’ve got for you. You stay classy Fathead Nation.

Peace. Love. Guidos. Fatheads.