June 29, 2010
There I was this morning. Making breakfast, brushing my teeth, getting ready for work. In the background, CNN drones on about Russian spies and oil spills (more on that later) without me paying a lick of attention. Then, after dozens of important senators and policymakers whiz by without me batting an eye, there are a few names which, regrettably, grab my attention. I, as a rule, hate celebrity gossip, which is why it pains me to write about this. But something must be done. Today the talkingheads on CNN were going over the Forbes 100 most powerful celebrities list. The list is long and distinguished: Oprah, U2, James Cameron, and various other monsters of sound and screen. What upset me to the point of spitting out my listerine, however, was the name that catapulted itself from blissful anonymity (those were the days…) to number four on the list: Lady Gaga.
Why? WHY? The woman is an attention hound of such caliber that she makes Paris Hilton blush and Andy Dick cringe. I mean, if I was pressed, under pain of death, I might admit that she might have talent as a singer (and I say “she might” because I honestly can’t tell through all of the autotune and sound effects). But for the most part she is just a overly-sequined, overly-quaffed, fashionably-psychotic, Yankee-Stadium-disgracing, one woman reality TV show. I don’t doubt that she deserves her spot on Forbes’ list. My concern is that the world at large likes her enough to put her there.
Questions, Comments, Concerns, and Clown Jokes:
Really Russia? You are spying on us with KGB funded baristas in Times Square? What were you expecting to gain from this? Top secret CIA expresso recipes? Didn’t anyone tell you guys the Cold War was over thirty years ago? We’re gonna have to get James Bond and Jack Ryan out of retirement to kick some commie…. sorry folks. Forgot this was a family show.
Grow up Russia. Because we have a new weapon that your top secret cashiers might not have uncovered yet:
Breaking news- BP is still killing the Gulf. That is all.
Random thought from yesterday- every bag of popcorn should come with about half a dozen toothpicks attached. That should be a federal law.
Random complaint from yesterday- people emailing you from within earshot. If you email me something that contains no attached files, and it would’ve been easier to just say it, all you are doing is wasting valuable…. bytes? Ok so maybe there is no waste involved but you are cluttering up my valuable inbox space. And yes, I’m talking to you Molly.
Peace. Love. Fatheads.