The REAL. BIG. Blog

Marion Jones was introduced as the newest member of the WNBA’s Tulsa Shock today, approximately one and a half years after she was released from a prison sentence for lying to federal prosecutors about performance-enhancing drugs and her role in a check-fraud scam.  Marion, undoubtedly, is one of the most recognizable Joneses in the nation, but where does she stack up on the list of Greatest Joneses of All Time?

According to our highly-structured, completely objective ranking system, Marion Jones doesn’t even crack the top five on the list of Greatest Joneses of All Time.  So which Joneses are greater?

5.  James Earl Jones – The voice of Darth Vader and the star of great movies like The Sandlot, Coming to America, and Soul Man, James Earl Jones is an American icon.

4. Indiana Jones – He didn’t star in nearly as many movies as James Earl Jones, but his role was fairly integral to movies like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

3.  Star Jones – A nine-year member of The View that achieved celebrity in two drastically different weight classes, Star Jones still pops up on the cover of the National Enquirer from time to time.

2.  Grace Jones - Multi-talented Grace Jones was a muse to Andy Warhol, a musical success in the UK (with limited success here in the states), and the star of classic movies like Conan the Destroyer, Boomerang, and Wolf Girl.  Her impact on the fashion world might be forever felt.

1.  Tom Jones - With a wardrobe full of skin-tight polyester jumpsuits and an enviably hairy chest, Tom Jones is one of the most important Welsh crooners ever to be born to a coal miner.  Songs like “It’s Not Unusual,” “What’s New, Pussycat?” and “She’s a Lady” will likely continue to influence musical artists for the next seven centuries.